Read the Above...

I’m usually full of words Father and today I can hardly find one to say/write.  At first – I started not to write and pray because I don’t know what else to say or to do, to provoke or evoke what is needed to bring your promises to fruition in my life Father, but what I have learned over my years is when I feel like I don’t have the strength to pray – I better pray!  So, I sat myself right back down and decided that because I cannot change my situation at this current moment, the best thing that I can do is pray; especially when I don’t feel that I have the energy to lift a finger to write out my heartfelt thoughts, I can move my fingers and come seeking you Father for the Peace that surpasses all of my understanding.  No one would believe me if I told them that I am sitting here at a job without anything to do and have been for six years and counting and I have received several pay raises within those times, so it is not that my work is slacking.  However, I know that there is more for me to do than to waste away and perish without fulfilling my God-given purpose.  There is more to this life, to my life and to my time allotted here on your creation than just to stare out of a window from time-to-time hoping that I don’t lose my ever-loving mind.  Thankfully, I feel better already because I know that you are with me and that being said, “Things are going to be alright”.  I guess I would say that the most difficult of all the waiting is that it appears as if I am only spinning my wheels and going nowhere.  And I know that I cannot get lost in that maze of trying to figure out what you are going to do because from my vantage point… if I can even call it that – apparently there is no way that I can be discovered or emerge from this very chair that I sit and I am doomed to live the rest of my life suffering and incarcerated in a place where I do not fit in and where I do not belong.  But God – you let a shepherd boy be anointed King and you sustained a window woman and her son; not to fail in mentioning that your eye was on a sparrow of a boy crippled from youth be sent for named Mephibosheth by King David for his father Jonathan’s sake.  You know exactly where I am and the day that I will soon depart from this despairing existence.  Lodebar is a desolate and empty place, but it is still a place of blessing because you are here with me Lord.  “Land of Nothing”, is what the meaning of Lodebar is and I know how Mephibosheth felt.  But even as I think myself nothing more than a dog, the Syrophoenician women was relegated to being compared to a dog by Lord Jesus himself, and like she I say yea Lord, “this is true but the dogs do eat from the crumbs that fall from the Master’s table”.  The crumbs that fall father will be plenteous and I will eat them with gladness and joy because they have come from you.  Thank you for your spirit that has come over me and let me know that I have what it takes to overcome and to prosper because I have the spirit of the Most High God dwelling both inside and roundabout me.  It’s amazing what a little prayer time will do for a wounded soul.  If people ever want to know why I serve you – tell them to read the above.