"PMS'ing"

9-28-09

Dear Father,

I don't know if I'm feeling in a fowl mood because of my spirit being in turmoil or just is disarray because I'm simply PMS'ing. I'm not sure. I just pray to you to right my spirit. I don't like the nonchalant feeling and just a spirit of depression that has overcome me. I'm not sure if it's the non-related medication, one or a combination of all the above. I know the stress at work also tends to take it's toll eventually but I pray to you for freedom from them all.

My Life can be better and will get better no "but" about it. I must remain focused on you and all of the good things will soon be added unto me. At times, it just feels like I've been praying for a better life, all my life. I know that my life has become better but I'm still not where I'm satisfied and I'm not sure I'll ever be nor should I ever want to feel satisfied or content. Once we're content we stop wanting to progress and sometimes regress because we have nothing to strive towards. Sometimes I wonder are my expectations too great or outside the boundaries of what you have in store for me Father. The things I want don't seem too far fetched or beyond my reach. I may already have them and may not recognize that my glass is half full rather than half empty. If this is the case Father, help me to removed the blinders and let the scales fall from my eyes and reveal to me what I've been failing to see.

I'm not complaining for surely I've come a mighty long way from where I once was, I just know there's something out there even more better just outside my grasp. It's that feeling that just keeps gnawing at my psyche and I won't let me go until my goal has been reached. I don't think that I should ever want to feel that I've done all that I can do. Our work here is never done. Help me Father to take hold of my future and whatever that entails, possess it and not let go of it. You said that it's not your will Father to keep any good thing from me. My spirit is telling me that where I am currently isn't my final destination. Just a bridge I'm to cross to get to where you would have me to be.

Thank you Father once again for giving me a spirit of optimism instead of doubt. At times or when certain situations arise the inability to see my way clear through becomes cumbersome. It can become depressing and overwhelm us, me; into thinking that the Lord, you; have forgotten about us. You keep your eyes on the sparrow, sit high and look low, and have taken the time to number each and every star in the galaxy. The greatest act of mercy and kindness you've showed us is you gave your only begotten Son Jesus to die for all of our sins. Therefore, you being the most high God couldn't nor wouldn't waste such a sacrifice for not. You are a God of deliberateness. You don't do anything without cause and whatever you command be done doesn't come back void.

I pray that you command that I be Blessed abundantly. Release a Blessing Father that will overcome and consume me. I ask and Thank you Father for all of these things in Jesus name, thy Son of David. I Love you Lord. Amen-

Yolanda Smothers-