"Eye on the Sparrow"

9-29-09

Dear Father,

I truly didn't know how we as a family were going to make it today. We try so hard to do it ourselves before we just let it go and let God. There was no need to get upset with my husband because he'd done all that he could do. When you've done all that you can do, we must stand. Stand on your word Lord. I couldn't even get all worked-up because sometimes there's no one or anything to get upset at or with. That's when you show up Lord. It's not always a show out. Sometimes, just showing up is all that's needed. We can't take you blowing our mind constantly...

This morning I could only let go and let you have your way Father. To do your will and not my own. What I just realized was that I must be growing spiritually because none of my usually thoughts came to mind. Resorting to some of my old ways that have brought me nothing but hurt rather than help. The writing of a bad check and having to pay double to clear or something along those lines. If we only let go when were suppose too, a lot of the stress, heartache, and headache wouldn't occur.

When do we know to do all you can and then give it to you or should we give it to you right off the top, right away? Doing the latter doesn't build character, strength, nor faith. We've got to try and sometimes fail. That's how we learn that we can't do it all, nothing; without you Lord.

Thank you for every bump and hiccup that causes me to have nowhere else to turn but to YOU; that's the safest place to be. We experience the most profound sense of peace when we get broke down and have to fall on our knees, snotty-nosed and weeping until we no longer have a voice or a tear left to cry. Some enter a quiet place or a closet. When there is no one there and nothing but silence, we can hear your voice and it's clear. It may not always give the answer immediately but you experience peace until your answer comes.

For instance this morning, we borrowed from everyone who we could and stretched and saved until the last time depleted to pennies. You knew what we stood in need of and if you were the God who I, We, thought you were; then you would show up. You did! You made someone out of the clear blue remember a long lost promise and they came and placed money right into the palm of my hand. I let go and I received! You will cause people to give until our bosom. The wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous. Not to say that the giver wasn't righteous. I pray that the giver is a child of God who realized that he'd been blessed and was sowing a seed. Bless this small seed and act of kindness and grow it Lord that I'm able to do the same when I'm called upon.

I ask and Thank You Lord for all of these things in Jesus name. I Love You Lord. Amen-


Yolanda Smothers-