NOT AS STRONG

9/24/09

"Not as Strong"

Dear Father,

I'm still faltered by the same temptations. I'm not as strong as I thought or would have liked to have been. It also goes to show me that I have a long ways to go, even still... I don't know what got into me or what came over me but I know that I didn't like that I received a warning, clearly and understandable and yet still chose to ignore them; as well as several others. That's scary! Why? Lord, is the flesh that overpowering or is it self imposed? Self willing to do what it wants no matter? Knowing good and well that I don't want any of the trouble that I was surely asking for. I went looking for it sure enough. Lord, I pray that you continue to warn and detour me from those things that are self destructing and also from those things that I have no control over but yet still come against me.

Yes, it may seem like an ongoing and daunting task but I did stop myself before I went too far. After several failed unsuccessful attempts, it finally dawned on me that it wasn't worth it. Why did it take me so long to accept those things that I can't change? It isn't time for me to have the abundance of things that I keep praying for. They would surely over take me and I'd be worse off rather than better should you allow those things to come to me as I've asked. You showed me that I'm still not ready. Help me Lord to receive those things that I keep blocking myself from by destructive acts. I want to move further than where I am and from where I've already been. Everyone one gets tire of the same thing and I'm tired of being tired, being set-back by my on doing, being my own stumbling block. That gets old really quick! I realize that things about me must change in order for those things to happen and it has to be self-imposed. I just can't pray for you to change it, I must commit myself and my ways to go about changing.

Those things will begin to line up and be released one after another when the things that I ask for are of you and the things that you have for me; they will come with ease. That's one thing that I've learned from our relationship Lord that even though things may take some effort, some work it's always with ease. Everything that I've attempted to do in the past was difficult, cumbersome. I will know what I'm to do when it's something I want to do and enjoy doing and it comes without having to go against your standards and principals. Those things that you have set up in order for me to not cross the boundaries.

Boundaries are good things and they also serve an important purpose. They keep those things out or at bay that shouldn't be let in or go near. They keep you from harm or warn of dangers that may lie ahead should you ignore those set-forth boundaries.

I'm asking you Father to help me to learn, heed, and adhere to those boundaries that you've established for me; to know what my boundaries and limitations are because me using my own standard of judgement hasn't gotten me to where I want to be. It's lead me too many times to places that have been more harmful than good.

Once again I come to the thrown, your one and only thrown of grace and everlasting mercies to ask for forgiveness and a new cleaner heart after the things that please you Lord and not disappoint and separate me from you.

I ask and Thank You for all of these things in your name Jesus. I love you. Amen!