I'm So Excited!!!

I’m So Excited!!!

I used to be so excitable about so many different things that would occur over the course of my life.  Excited about summer break from school, excited about Christmas, excited about the boy checking the box on the note I sent saying, “he liked me too” and not the maybe box.  Excited about my birthday coming up, excited about going to Daytona Beach for Spring Break, excited about my first sleep over away from the house, excited about camp, excited about a gift, excited about my first date or a new hairdo.  Excited to get my first apartment and furnishing it, excited about getting married and having kids, excited sometimes for no apparent reason.  But now I get excited about things that are more external and existential more so rather than those which only affect me personally.  The other day when I went to get my tires rotated and I was excited that I kept the appointment because it meant that I was maturing and growing because I was more focused on my kids riding safely, and not just my own inconvenience of having to take the time out of my day to do some menial, yet el import ante task. Just EXCITED, EXCITED, EXCITED.  You get my drift that I was EXCITED! Not the Pointer Sister’s excited because I could hide it.  Being excited void of expectation is just a form of adrenaline rush that will soon wear off.

Now I find myself excited when I know that I am doing what I can to please God and ascend from faith-to-faith and from glory-to-glory. 

I am excited now about having an expectation in my heart that only God himself can reveal and bring to pass. 

What are you excited about? 

Dependency or Addiction??

Dependency differs greatly from an addiction. Addiction brings with it a bad habit of only wanting God to “fix” something instead of knowing that my complete dependency on him will cause all things to work together for my good. 
To be challenged/tested in the Lord and pass will always bring promotion, upgrade in stature, new levels, higher glory and provision and protection. 
Being dependent upon God isn't a weakness because when we are weak then he is strong. We shouldn't want to keep having to get a fix in order for us to keep asking, seeking and knocking on every door that God places in front of us; if he doesn't fix our problem or ebb our turmoil, then we are no longer fixated on him as being our God. However, God wants us so dependent upon him that we know that our gaze is stayed upon him to be the author and finisher of our faith.
Some go cold turkey and repent and walk out their faith in God without ever looking back in the rear-view mirrors of life; while others need to be weaned off the dependency of the world system’s and of life itself as they have become accustomed to before meeting face-to-face with God. But if you have ever had that opportunity to experience where God has revealed himself to you, then you know that there is no going back because he is better than any high we have ever known – we know that we have come to a place where there is no return from.
God is more than a fix but he is the source from who all blessings flow. If you have the source then there is no lack in getting whatever it is that we stand in need of. No source – No resources.

"Fattigue"

This morning I am off on a tangent and I pray that I find the ears for who needs to hear this and to be set free.  But I sense that I am not alone in my sentiments and I pray that this spurs a move for actual change and not just a shift in the atmosphere of curvy culture.

I don t know – maybe it’s me but I am experiencing “fattigue” (yes, I made the word up but it’s so apropos).  Not of the positive body images of curvy women adorning subway cars or movements of #DropThePlus or #ImNoAngel but rather the debate that comes along with the commentary after each photog curvy campaign.  We are perpetuating a stereotype that we are in need of type of reassurance that we as “curvy” belong in mainstream society and that we fill the need to justify who we are.  Why do we need a champion? There is only one Savior and he came, died, was buried and resurrected some time ago.  I didn't know that we were running a political campaign to be accepted into society.  I was already here – we already existed.  Or are you one of those people who needed validation from an outside source to know that you are as fatabulous as you want to be? 

If we make society, try to force them to say that “Big is Beautiful “, would it be genuine, if you had to force your partner to compliment you; would it really be from the heart and received with joy?  Wherein is the intrinsic value of what you believe about yourself?  The illustrious Katt Williams said it best and I quote “it’s called self-esteem”, “esteem of oneself”.  Of course he used more colorful words but you get the gist. 

There have been many of us out here holding our own for years as fatabulous women and we knew that our worth was more than what another may have once thought about us.  Thoughts come a dime a dozen, and negative comments a baker’s dozen, but they may come in with one opinion but will leave with an entirely different mindset by the time the evaluation is complete - Becoming certified-fatabulous.

Question: Do you believe what is being said about you, rather harmless or intentional shaming?  Hold only yourself accountable for how your life will play out; not the media, not strangers, friends, family or foe.  If you don t, you are bound to become a Beauty-EYECON or an American EYE-DULL.

Don’t be a con or dull when it comes to how you express yourself to the public.

Rosebushes...

Rose bushes are beautiful and I love to look at them – thorny and all.  But sometimes it feels like when I am waiting on the Promise of God that I am lying in bed of rosebushes.  The Promise he gave me is beautiful and I love to view it through my mind’s eye; the beauty of the color, velvety texture and fragrance of the roses will draw you in but when I try to get comfortable – it is as if I am being punctured everywhere I turn by the pricks of its protective thorns.  But again – that is how I know that it is God’s garden that I am.  He won’t allow me to get too cozy and only experience him through visions.  However, his aim and goal is to spur me each and every time I turn off course by allowing prickly and unwanted pokes and even more painful thoughts such as doubt to make me lie still and just enjoy the views and ambiance around me to remind me whose garden I am in and that I privileged to be invited into my very own Eden - and to allow him to provide and care for me as he had originally intended.  After so many pricks I know now to stop wrestling with where I am and instead enjoy where I am because I am right where God would have me to be.