"RENEWED MIND & SPIRIT"
Dear Father,
I have such a "Renewed mind and Spirit". I've been carrying a lot around but I'm learning how to give it to you Lord. I'm definitely not helping myself, my husband nor my family by keeping what's going on in my household in the dark. Why help him continue to perpetuate a lie and yet he's still not doing what needs to be done. Even if a job fell into his lap he wouldn't take it. Either way that's neither love for me nor himself. He's not owning up to who your word says he ought to be towards me Lord. I didn't want to bring this to your doorstep but I truly thought I heard a word from you Father. Correction, I know I heard a word from and I'm not going to let the enemy attempt to make me think otherwise.
Forgive me Lord for the thoughts that I've allowed to enter into my mind lately since our altercation. Marriage is sacred and Holy unto you Lord as we will one day be joined in Holy Matrimony with you Lord. I didn't into my marriage lightly. You know my heart and I pray my heart remains as it was the day I was married. If my marriage is sundered I pray that it only be your will Lord and not my own.
This won't be the last altercation or disagreement we will have if we truly plan to have the life we've envisioned for ourselves. Therefore, it's a test of faith. I've been feeling stressed in the spirit and knew something was coming against me. Everytime when I've felt this way and have attempted to renew myself in you, this occurs. Let's pray that finally this will be the last time that I step out of your will. I mustn't be perfect but striving to be.
Again, Thank you Lord for every correction you've given me throughout my life. These tests are hard and draining but if I don't faint but endure there are Blessings awaiting me, whether it be here on earth or in Heaven. I am Blessed. I'm yours Lord. These things that come against me only encourage me more with each obstacle I hurdle. They strengthen me. It was yet again as it has always been in the past, the same old tricks of the enemy, just packaged differently. A wolf in sheep clothing. Copying you Lord, the lamb but he's cunning. If I would've only looked more closely I would've seen the mighty big teeth and claws waiting to gnaw and cut me down.
Is holding off from doing wrong and causing myself so much pain truly that more difficult? Or is trying to dig myself out of a deep murky mud bath, that I dug for myself? The latter is the worse of them and that's the worst part of it all; I did them all to myself. That's the kind of self destruction that goes on in life. We constantly conjure up pain upon ourselves. However, with each incident I grow stronger and more in you Lord; I hold tighter to you. I pray I don't let go again. You're rooted deeply and are immovable. All I have to do is hold on and you won't let me go. You will protect me. I ask and Thank You Lord for all of these things in Jesus name, thy Son of David of the Father of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. I Love You Lord. Amen!
